Quizoola 24

Me, sat alone on my computer, a bottle of beer in my hand. The clown make-up I put on five hours ago is starting to drip and fade.

Q: What was Quizoola 24?

A: Umm. It was a twenty-four hour long performance by Forced Entertainment, which was live-streamed from the Barbican last Saturday. For an entire day, we watched two clowns asking one another questions.

Q: Is that it?

A: Yes.

Q: What sort of questions did they ask?

A: Everything from “What makes you happy?” to “Should IKEA rule the world?”

Q: What were the two people like?

A: Well, there were actually six of them.

Q (raising his voice): Why?

A: Well, because they were going for twenty-four hours and needed sleep.

Q (getting angry): That’s a bit of a cop-out isn’t it?

A: I don’t think so.

Q: Why not?

A: Because they have to get some rest.

Q: Do they tell the truth?

A: I don’t know.

Q: DO THEY TELL THE TRUTH?

A: I don’t know.

Q: Why don’t you know?

A: Because the frames of references and the tone is always shifting. It’s hard to tell.

Q: Are you ready to stop?

A: Yes.

The questioner and the answerer swap over.

Q: Name your favourite queston.

A: “WHAT ARE YOUR FAVOURITE PLOT DEVICES?”

Q: Name your favourite answer.

A: “Because their lives are empty.”

Q: Did you watch it with anyone?

A: Yes and no.

Q: What do you mean ‘Yes and no’?

A: I watched it alone but definitely didn’t feel alone.

Q: Why not?

A: Because I was on Twitter the whole time speaking to lots of other people who gave up everything else that day.

Q: Are you a loser?

Pause.

A: Yes. Probably. Probably, yes.

Q: Do you ever feel like you’re wasting your life?

A: Only when I spend hours trying to think up questions to ask you.

Q: Did you watch the whole thing?

A: No.

Q: Why not?

A: I had things to do.

Q: Do you like answering questions?

A: Sometimes.

Q: Why “sometimes”?

A: Because sometimes it feels intrusive but at others it’s just interesting.

Q: Do you like hearing other people answering questions?

A: Yes. Especially if it’s on in the background.

Q: Is this working?

A: Not really.

Q: Why not?

A: The questions only really work when they’re in the present or future tense.

Q: Are you sure?

A: Yes.

Q: Are you ready to stop?

A: Yes.

Repeat ad infinitum, or twenty-four hours; whichever’s quicker.

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